Are marriage preparation courses worth the bother?

A brides perspective

Do I believe in marriage preparation classes? Absolutely, unequivocally yes I do.

We live in such an independent society, but who teaches us deeper communication and partnership skills – how to get along with another person for life?

Being married is so much more than just being a good person and hoping it will all work out. It is an intimate and layered space where you need to navigate each other’s individuality, differences and established core beliefs and value systems.

You may well love each other, but what do you do if there is a difference of opinion on fundamental things (and I assure you, there will be). What do you do if there is a fighting stalemate or pattern you just can’t snap out of? What do you do if your partner develops a bad habit or picks up some dubious company – and you want them to stop?

When people don’t have the tools in a relationship, they revert to some pretty poor communication techniques that over time, serve to shut down love, intimacy and respect – that’s why you see those people in restraurants not talking to each other!

When we feel unheard, disrespected or controlled by our partner’s requests, we respond with more of the same, by yelling, manipulating or freezing them out.

That’s not so healthy!

Despite our best intentions, we can all be guilty of that because that is how our defence mechanism operates. We’re only human after all :)

So, I firmly believe some objective marriage preparation is important.

I am getting married in 2 weeks. My fiancé and I greatly benefitted from the advice and counsel offered in our marriage preparation. We’re both mature and well-formed individual, and these special classes took our communication and goodwill towards each other to the next level.

An objective third party helps you see your partner’s perspective in a clearer light, articulate your position and gives you the over all tools, tips and methodologies to be a supportive, happy and integral couple. This objectivity is something well meaning family and friends just can’t give, because they are emotional invested and close to you.

I recommend marriage preparation classes for your own personal development and the tools to reach your full potential as a couple. But then again, I’m a coach… :)

Have a great Chanukah and December and I look forward to joining you in 2016 as a Mrs!

Alina B x

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